Hold your horses

Yes we can still enjoy musings on Fantasy Football even when there are no Premier League fixtures this week. As we know, the life of a Fantasy Manager never stops.

I’m sure at least some of you have had the experience of agonizing over transfers on a Friday as usual, finally gathering the courage to send them through, scrolling down in smug, premature satisfaction when – horror of horrors, you see that there are no games on this week. It is an easy mistake to make, once we are into the rhythm of weekly team changes the routine is set into auto pilot and nobody wants to accept a gaping hole in their early weekend plans. God forbid, we may have to do some work on a Friday afternoon. It is easy for the international breaks to pass by unnoticed when you are deep in the mire of an early Fantasy relegation fight, especially with the level of interest the England side stirs in us at the moment.

The immutable Sod’s Law of Fantasy Football dictates that whichever player you have picked, now a week early, will inevitably pull up like a lame horse in the first few minutes of his meaningless international friendly against St Kitts and Nevis (thinking about it, that level of opponent shows the type of player I’m usually drawn to take a transfer chance on), making a mockery of your hard earned choice by booking a return flight to the physio’s table for a good few weeks.

I often wonder if minor Premier League players have cottoned on to this trend and log onto fantasypremierleague.com to anxiously scan through their own ‘Selected by %’ stats, knowing that just a single decimal point change upwards before the international break makes them a marked man, doomed to injury. Even if they try to avoid this fate by catching a Blighty one in training, the forces of Fantasy Football destiny will track them down in ‘Final Destination’ style with an injury wherever they may be – a hamstring twang walking down the steps to the training ground, or an elaborate Mouse Trap chain of events ending with a jar of mayonnaise falling on their foot. Sadly, the same Sod’s Law fate also seems to follow me to betting on the Grand National. As soon as my pin sticking approach alights on a promising young filly, I sense a distant glue factory manager rubbing his hands with glee and priming the heaters. Whenever I have watched horse racing live, I’m sure I have seen the horses looking anxiously in my direction and putting on a stage limp.

So, as this week’s public service announcement for the benefit of Fantasy Managers and real-life footballers braving the international break, avoid Sod’s Law and remember that THERE ARE NO FANTASY FIXTURES THIS WEEK. So, farewell until next week when the stats battle can be rejoined.



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